100+ Speedy Train Puns And Jokes

Take a journey through laughter with our exclusive train puns and jokes.

train puns jokes

Step aboard the laughter express as we journey through a world of wit and wordplay with train puns. In a fast-paced life where stations of stress and deadlines loom large, a dose of train jokes is the perfect ticket to lighten the mood.

Train puns are like the unexpected joy of a smoothly running locomotive. They chug into your thoughts, whistle a humorous tune, and leave you smiling. So, Embark on a rail-bound adventure filled with clever train puns and jokes and trackside chuckles, keep your funny bone in the upright position and your laughter track clear.

From station to destination, these train puns will be your trusty companion, ensuring your journey through the world of train jokes stays right on track. Buckle up; it’s time to explore the rails of hilarity with train puns.

Funny Train Puns

All aboard for a rib-tickling journey filled with clever wordplay and train puns that’s sure to amuse both seasoned travelers and newcomers. From locomotive quips to trackside jests, these train jokes are bound to have you chuckling down the rails.

railway puns
Railway Puns

1. What did the pessimistic train say before departing?
I’m on a one-way track to nowhere.

2. Why did the carriage break up with the train?
It couldn’t handle the constant rail-ing.

3. Trains are like life – they have their ups and downs, but it’s the journey on the rail that matters.

4. Why was the railway always calm?
Because it had a great track record.

5. Did you hear about the shy tunnel?
It always had trouble making connections.

6. The metro is like a giant underground party – everyone’s dancing to the subterranean beats.

7. Why did the transit get kicked out of the library?
It couldn’t keep quiet – it was always commuting.

8. The underground is where you’ll find the coolest subway musicians.

9. What’s the subway’s favorite movie genre?

10. The tube is like a human-sized game of whack-a-mole during rush hour.

11. I told my friend a train station joke, but they missed the punchline – they were waiting on another platform.

12. Trains are like superheroes, and the bullet train is the fastest of them all.

13. Commuters are the real road warriors of the railway world.

14. Trains are the best form of transport because they always track your progress.

15. Why did the train go on a diet before traveling?
It wanted to lose track of its weight.

Visual Train Puns To Share

Sometimes, a picture speaks a thousand words, and in this case, it delivers a thousand laughs. Enjoy a visual feast of train-related hilarity with pun-filled images that are perfect for sharing with fellow rail enthusiasts.

Railroad Puns
byu/allaboardnv intrains

I raise that train dad joke
byu/TheRookieGetsACookie infunny

Onliner Train Jokes For All

Short, snappy, and witty, one-liner train jokes are the perfect pick-me-up for those moments when you need a quick laugh. These little nuggets of humor are just the ticket to brighten your day.

train station joke
Train Station Joke

1. Bogies are the coolest wheels in the rail business – they really know how to roll.

2. The shinkansen is so fast that it’s like the bullet train of conversation.

3. The train cab is where the conductor gets a fare deal on driving.

4. The caboose is the train’s party car – where all the fun rolls.

5. Did you hear about the train that refused to stop at stations?
It had a one-track mind.

6. Trains drive through life with a loco-motion attitude.

7. Why did the passenger bring a chessboard on the train?
Because they heard it was a checkered pastime.

8. Trains connect people and places like the world’s best social network.

9. Why did the smartphone apply for a job at the train platform?
Because it wanted to improve its platform.

10. The train was feeling drained so it took a nap on the tracks to re-chug.

11. The carriage was feeling horsey so it decided to trot off and join a rodeo.

12. The rail asked the train, What’s your favorite food?
The train replied, I’m loco about tacos.

13. The railway employee switched careers to become a DJ because he loved making mix tracks.

14. The tunnel refused to come out of its shell underground despite the train’s encouragement.

15. The underground worms started a band called the Subway Crawlers.

16. Why was the subway depressed?
It felt like its life was going off the rails.

17. How did the vacuum tube get to work on time?
It took the pneumatic subway.

18. Why was the train station feeling sad?
All its trains had left the building.

19. How did the bullet train go on vacation?
It took the express line.

20. The trains started carpooling to save on fuel costs during their daily commute.

21. Why was the commuter train feeling nervous?
It was having first day on the rails jitters.

22. How did the runaway train finally relax on vacation?
It stopped taking shortcuts and enjoyed the scenic rail route.

Best Train Puns For Commuters

Commuting can be a grind, but it doesn’t have to be humorless. Brighten your daily journey with train puns tailored for travelers on the move.

1. Why couldn’t the train keep racing around the track?
It was feeling burned out from having no breaks.

2. Why did the coal train get pulled over?
For vehicling under the influence.

3. Why was the cargo feeling bored in the boxcar?
It had nothing interesting to rail about.

4. Why was the locomotive embarrassed?
Because it got railroaded into pulling the silly caboose.

5. How did the coal car relax after a long delivery trip?
By taking a steam bath.

6. Why was the diesel engine worried on cold mornings?
It was afraid it might not turn over.

7. Why did the train refuse a breathalyzer?
It didn’t want to conduct a sobriety test.

8. How did the train conductor shine his shoes?
With shoe-shoe polish.

9. How did the monorail see over tall trees?
It went out on a rail.

10. Why was the train rolling its eyes?
The passenger wouldn’t stop railing on about her problems.

11. Why did the train say choo choo choose me to get hired?
It wanted to prove it could handle passenger assignments.

12. Why did the bullet train wear a cloak?
It wanted to travel incognito like a shinkansen ninja.

13. How did the express train order coffee?
In a hurry because it was running late again.

14. How did the tram car celebrate its birthday?
With a trolley jolly party.

15. Why did the train cab charge such high fares?
It wanted to make a killing on the rail line.

16. How did the train convoy pass the time on long trips?
By playing conductor games.

17. How did the train stop on a dime?
It pumped the brakes.

18. Why was the train crossing its fingers?
It hoped no cars would be waiting at the intersection.

19. Why was the train lost?
It missed its usual route.

Travel With Train Puns

All aboard the laughter express! Travel with train puns and savor the delight of witty train jokes as we journey through the world of humor. This track has it all for locomotive enthusiasts looking for a good laugh.

bullet train pun
Bullet Train Pun

1. Why couldn’t the train engineer drive home after his shift?
His car was parked at the railyard.

2. Why was the train driver feeling sick?
He had locomotive motion sickness.

3. Why was the train afraid to cross the line?
He didn’t want to go rogue and derail.

4. Why did the sleeper car bring a pillow?
It wanted to dream about faraway destinations.

5. Why did the little engine say I think I can, I think I can?
It was trying to chug up a steep hill.

6. Why was the rail feeling down?
It was going through a tunnel of sadness.

7. What did the railway do for fun on weekends?
It liked to go off track and be a wild rail for a change.

8. How did the bullet train celebrate its birthday?
By going full speed ahead.

9. Waiter, there’s a fly in my train station soup. Yes sir, all our stations come with a little buzz.

10. What do you call an underground train without manners?
A rude-ro.

11. I was riding the subway when a guy swung from the rails above yelling I’m a chimp, I’m a chimp. Some people have just lost their train of thought.

12. Why don’t eggs take public transit?
They don’t want to get scrambled.

13. How does a freight train relax after work?
It likes to unwind in the rail yard.

14. The bandaid promised the skinned knee “I’ll get you back on track in the ca-booboo-se!”

15. Eager to switch tracks, the cow crossed the rails to get to the udder side.

16. Train engineer’s puppies munch on doggy choo-choo treats.

17. Missing the show, the conductors tuned into the wrong station channel.

18. Cars hit highways while rail cars ride the train tracks – no confusion!

19. Babies love the milk run train delivering their favorite drink.

20. Running late, the train couldn’t leave since rookie Billy was at the engine.

Train Jokes To Keep You In Track

Life’s tracks can be unpredictable, but with our train jokes, you’ll stay on the right course – the course of laughter! These jokes will keep you on track and smiling.

1. Knock knock. Who’s there?
Achoo. Achoo who?
Achoo you glad I didn’t say choo choo again?

2. Waiter, I’ll have a conductor sandwich but hold the puns. Sorry sir, all our sandwiches here come fully loaded.

3. Why are bogies so good at swimming?
They’re trained for the breaststroke.

4. A horse and carriage walk into a bar. Bartender asks Why the long face?
The horse replies, I’m worried these train puns are getting old.

5. How does a steam engine wash clothes?
It irons them out with steam power.

6. Why was the train feeling gassy?
It had a toot-ache.

7. I tried to tell the train it was about to derail, but it just went off the rails. Some people never listen.

8. What do you call a lazy train that just wants to sleep all day?
A sleeper car.

9. Knock knock. Who’s there?
Howard. Howard who?
Howard you get to the other side of the tunnel so fast?

10. All tracks together make a country’s railway system, not just a few!

11. “Eat my smoke!” the steam engine taunted the electric train.

12. To reach his mine, the prospector needed a golden ticket for the train.

13. Cars can’t drive rails, so trains beat them on tracks every time!

14. Trains are great at connecting people, but they still can’t get a signal in some tunnels.

15. Trains never go off track; they just take unexpected detours.

Cool Puns About Trains

Trains, with their majestic presence and rhythmic chug, are inherently cool, and puns about trains take their coolness to the next level. So, if you’re ready for a refreshing dose of puns that’ll have you riding the laughter express, you’re in the right station.

sleepercar jokes
Sleeper Car Joke

1. I tried to write a song about trains, but I couldn’t find the right track.

2. Trains are the eco-friendly vehicles of choice – they’re always on the green route.

3. Trains don’t need a road map; they have a rail map.

4. Trains carry cargo like a chef carries spices – it’s what makes the journey flavorful.

5. Why did the passenger bring a ladder to the train?
Because they heard the fares were going up.

6. Train tickets are like love letters from the conductor – they both get you on board.

7. Locomotives are the engines of change in the transportation world.

8. Why did the diesel engine get an award?
Because it had the fuel to succeed.

9. Freight trains are like the freight elevators of the railway world – always on the up and up.

10. Trains are like a parade of cars, except they follow a track-tastic route.

11. Why did the conductor always carry a pencil?
Because they wanted to make tracks.

12. Monorails are the single most efficient way to travel.

13. Maglev trains are like magnets – they’re always attracted to the fastest route.

14. Coaches are like the wise elders of the train world – they’ve seen it all.

15. Why did the rolling stock win the talent show?
Because it had the wheel of fortune on its side.

16. Steam locomotives are like the spa days of the railway world – they love a good steam bath.

17. Trains toot toot to say hello, but I prefer to wave.

Train Jokes Meme To Laugh

Experience the perfect fusion of memes and trains for a non-stop journey of laughter with train-themed humor. Whether you’re a conductor of comedy or a passenger along for the ride, these memes will keep you smiling all the way to your destination.

You built a house close to a crossing?

Puns About Trains
Puns About Trains
Train Jokes
Train Jokes

Believe me, this is the polar express.

Rail Puns Joke
Rail Puns Joke

I am going off the rails on a crazy train.

Tram Puns
Railroad Puns

Here are more puns and jokes for you to read and laugh:
Goat Jokes
Funny Friday Jokes
Corn Jokes
Cake Puns

Train puns enter-train us during life’s boring journeys. Though fleeting, a quick train jokes lightens our mental load before returning to the daily grind.

Let’s not derail train puns so hastily. Your zany humor awaits at the next station. Keep chugging along, spreading jovial moments until we meet again.